How do we define psychosis? According the Merriam Webster, psychosis is, “a serious mental illness (such as schizophrenia ) characterized by defective or lost contact with reality often with hallucinations or delusions”
How do we define spirituality? According to Merriam Webster spiritualism is, “the view that spirit is a prime element of reality.” Not very helpful.
How do you define spirituality? For me it is something greater than me, a connect to and working with the elements, guides, ancestors, ascended masters, angels, gods and goddess, loved ones, animals and plants.
Where exactly to the lines intersect and cross? When are symptoms spiritual and when are they psychosis? Or are they same thing treated differently by varying people depending on their believes? And I struggle with how psychosis and spirituality play together. How I want them to get alone. Yet, what exactly is their relationship? Siblings, family members, friends, enemies?
I have set out to explore psychosis, spirituality and how they intersect or don’t.
A beautiful soul came into the CSU (Crisis Stabilization Unit) suffering what clinically would be labeled severe psychosis. She suffered from visual, audio, tactile and olfactory hallucinations. She felt that she was constantly being attached by demons and evil spirits. My heart broke for her. What pain she lives in.
I cannot fathom being in the clutches of psychosis or a spiritual attack where my whole being is consumed.
To be so lost between reality and illusion that I do not know which is which.
Where I hear disembodied voices, feel the touch of phantom hands. Smell something I can’t see. To feel as if each moment I am being attacked.
Is her brain broken or is her soul under attack? I don’t know. I wanted to delve more into her experiences. What happened to cause her brain to break? What trauma did she have to endure to survive? How many pieces of her were scattered across her time line waiting to come home? I wanted to help her clear her energy fields and channels. Call in her guides and angels. Maybe find a priest to perform an exorcism. Because she truly believes she under attack and possessed. Or is that just her brain fractured and broke. Maybe she just needs medication and some behavioral modification therapy to help identify what is real and what is false. Maybe she needs both.
I wondered how many therapists had sat with her. In her delusions. In her experiences. Just sat, didn’t judge. Didn’t evaluate. Just spent a moment in her shoes and listened to her story. To bear witness to the horrors and pain she suffered through her life that lead her to where she currently was. Lost and under attack. Or maybe she’d lost her story too. Was now consumed with surviving.
The thing that sucks about brief therapy. Is it’s brief. It’s just a glimpse into the person. It’s like opening a book and only reading a page. You have no clue what happened before or after. You can read that page and savor it. Take it in. Process it. And treat it as just a page. And that’s what we do in crisis management, we take the page we’ve been given and we do the best we can. But, I want to read the book. I want the story. To sit in that place with people. And work with them to heal their traumas and pains. To bring the missing parts back home. To heal mentally, emotionally, physically, energetically, psychic-ly and spiritually. For now, I hope that the book ends up with someone who will take the time to read it front to back. Dive into the depth. Decide how the book ends.