I wrote this a couple years ago, posted it on an old blog. And it is still relevant. These are still words that need to be heard. Because I want you to understand, that even if it doesn’t feel like it, you matter!
There are times in your life where you are going to feel like you just can’t take anymore. That you just want to stop the pain. End it because it feels like it is never going to stop, that is just going to keep coming. The voices in your head that tell you- You are worthless, that no cares, that the world would be better off without you, that you deserve your pain, and on and on. Those voices are wrong. You are worthy, you are beautiful, I care, the world needs you (really it does, there is only one you who does what you do) you matter, your life matters, you will be missed, even if right now you feel desperately alone, you are not, people love you wither you realize it or not. You just have to make it through this moment, this moment that feels like you are dropped below rock bottom. This moment that you feel the weight of the world suffocating you. This moment is going to pass, that is the beautiful thing about time, it passes and you my friend just have to make it through this moment.
To make it through here are some things you can do:
1. Focus on your breathing. Slowing breathing in and out. Focus on the breath. Feel it filling your body and leaving. Feel the body move throughout your body. Feel in nourishing you. Try to do this for at least 1 minute. Visualize each in breath bring newness and each exhale releasing and clearing. Visualize each breath filling you with gold. If your mind starts to wander or thoughts start to intrude gentle bring yourself back to your breath.
2. Turn on your favorite music, the music that makes you smile and makes you move. Feel the music in your bones. Let it sweep you away. Dance!
3. Grab pen and paper, crayons, markers and start writing all the thing that make you matter, all the compliments you’ve received, don’t censor yourself. Write all the things that make you great, all the things you like about you, and others like about you. Let them flow. Not feeling them? They are there, dig! Don’t fight them or stop them, don’t argue with them. Let these words speak to your heart about how truly awesome you are. If you are still struggling, write or draw all the things that make you happy. Write about a time you remember being happy. Feel it in your body. Retell this moment with your five senses.
4. Call a friend. Call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-talk, go to Imalive or text home to 741741 (the Crisis Text Line). Call someone you can talk to. (I know I say this twice, I’ll say it again below but you are that important, I want to see you make it through this!)
My friend, I may not know you and that really doesn’t matter. Because I have loved people that feel that way you do. I have helped people get through this, and I know you can too. I have also lost loved ones to suicide and witnessed the pain of loved ones who have lost someone to suicide. And I want to remind you that you matter! That you are loved! You are worthy! And you can make it through this!
As a therapist, when I sit with you I don’t see your broken, I see your beauty and potential. You are not your pain, trauma or story. You are so much more! I feel your pain and more than anything I want to help you transform it into healing. I see your worth. I see you! And I can tell you, you are loved!
If you are still feeling suicidal, please pick up the phone, call a friend, call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-talk, go to Imalive and chat with someone. Text the home to 741741 (the Crisis Text Line), call 911, go to your nearest hospital. Because you matter!