We fear those emotions that we do not like to feel. As if by feeling them they will consume, swallow and change us.
This fear is not unfounded. I have been swallowed by depression. Consumed with grief. Changed from melancholy.
It’s the dark that we fear. The being caught in quicksand with no life rope. That if we allow these feelings, depression, sadness, grief, pain, hurt in they will never leave.
We forget that they do leave. Yes, for some they out stay their visit. For some professional interventions such as medication and therapy are needed. I believe that having a trusted professional to explore your feelings is essential of optimal mental health. To have someone crawl into the pit, the hole, the dark and to sit, listen and be. In that emotion. In that space. In that place. To have a witness. The light within the dark. We often forget that we have the tools needed to get out of the dark. That we have the light, it’s been with us all along, we just forget. That’s what happens when we are consumed with those emotions we neglect and fear to feel.
Afraid that if we lean in. We are gone. We are transformed. Is this so bad? To lean in? To fall? To sit in the space that is so desperately calling us.
To be uncomfortable. To listen to the emotion. What story is does it sing? What lesson is dying to be learned? What piece or part of us being neglected? Because we are afraid to feel, lose control and get lost.
We control our emotions because in a world that feels out of control is feels good to have control over something. But really we become slaves to our emotions. Hiding them. suppressing them. Denying them.
We kick, we scream, we try and claw our way out. Forgetting that each emotion is a gift. A present. A reminder. Next time depression, grief, sadness, whatever emotion you are trying to avoid. Sit with it, make it tea, offer it a snack and listen. You might be surprised at what healing unfolds.